now, where was i...

oh yeah! sewing some shit! 

as you may know, rarely do i let a holiday pass without making a dress to match. well, this past weekend was labor day, and once again we spent it at the river house. so, learning my lesson last time (that dress will be off in 5 minutes once i see that water!) i whipped up a new patriotic swimsuit the night before! AND, i took (awkward) photos in it so you's guy's can stop askin ;)

good GOD. taking these was the most awkward moment of my entire week.

well, the top came from mccalls 2722. not really a vintage pattern (why did i say that? not at ALL a vintage pattern.) but view D really had it goin' on.

i was gonna put a close up of the top... but it felt creepy so

just use your imagination. unless you're a pervert.

the bottom i just drafted up. they are basically underwear with a tube sewn over it, it wasn't fucking rocket science or anything. i traced the bottom of a pair of panties i love to make sure my ass wouldn't be floppin' all over the river... but i think a cheek or two snuck out here and there.

i probably shouldn't have waited until the night before to make this... because i made two stupid mistakes. 

1) the center panel is soooooo not straight. while i doubt anyone would ever notice (besides a seamstress) the fact that i know it's there is enough to make me uncomfortably aware constantly.

or maybe i had a tumor on my right side i haven't discovered, and it's just pulling this funny...

2) i didn't put a zipper. or buttons. this entire thing is pull on, pull off and let me tell you, this fabric is NOT that stretchy! going pee right after swimming is almost impossible. its like sliding into a small wet paper bag. oh yeah, this isn't swimsuit material. just a stretchy tick gingham i had layin' around! so maybe it's more like three mistakes... lesson learned. again.

so i ALSO made this the other day for my friend shelby's shop, where, if you find yourself in san antonio, be sure to stop by it to pick up a few crissy baker originals. 

ok so here is the cheesy dress, myspace style:

"if i look to the side, people will think i'm deep"
"from way up here, the camera won't pick up all of my 300lbs"

i can't find the pattern i made this from. its something old, like everything else awesome in this house. the boobs have pretty awesome cone-ability... but with a bra its a nice smooth chi-chi silhouette. it wasn't even 10 AM when i took these, so a bra and makeup just weren't gonna make it in these photo. not today bud, not today. 

kinda goin' back in time it looks like....

 the back was just a nice low halter... if i were keeping this, i would probably have done shirring or something nice and comfy back there.... its a bit snug.

as you can tell from my muffiny back?

ugh, i really wish i knew where the pattern was. currently my sewing room looks like this 

so there is no way of finding ANYTHING in there, and until i'm done with tommy and amanda's wedding, i probably won't even step foot in there.

...unless tonight i decide i need a new dress.

...which i probably will....

ugh.