because i can NOT do anything the easy way....

i love costume parties. and i mean, LOVE.
i love making outfits, getting dolled up, mingling with other people dressed up like crazies... there just isn't one thing about them that i don't love! tomorrow is my friend anita's birthday party, and it it not a costume party.
the theme: lingerie party. seriously. underwear. 
well, i decided not to let that 'theme' get in my way, and i have created possibly the most ridiculous outfit possible. this is my choice for lingerie:

hell yeah i'm making a coney unitard!

most likely i am just going to look crazy, but I think that i would be crazy NOT to! i already have almost a full bolt of pink satin, belt kits and plenty of t.p. to stuff the cones with-- so i started my sketches and got to work! 

this is my attempt to sketch. laugh and i might have to pulverize you. 

luckily for me, jean paul gaultier has twitter account (yeah, twitter! 'the fuck??) so when i was google-ing for better photos, i came across this gem and others he has posted up on twitter that really helped put some detail into my sketches...

unfortunately for me, i did not add the handy pee slot that looks like it has.
(i hope its just for peeing....)

so far this is where i'm at. and i want to say, i am NOT this short and stumpy... at least i don't think i am.

taa daaaaaaa

a little detailing around the leg hole

mother of pearl hardware on the shoulder straps

 i am basically finished... i still need to attach the garters in the back, do a little reinforcement stitching...

 

because wearing something this tight when the fabric has ZERO stretch to it is a little rough on the seams, and i need to figure out the boobs. they are a *little* to spaced out i think. they kind of get all wonky when i put it on, like one is looking east and the other is looking west.

i looked at madonna's photos on line, and it looks like she had 2 of these outfits. one has the boobs real close and looking forward, and the other one has a pretty decent sized gap between so both boobs are looking backstage at the same time. i might leave the spacing, only because i don't want to jeopardize this profile:

 

you know someone is getting stabbed before the night ends!

also, i really like how the stitching came out on the cones

 the inside isn't as pretty, but there is hidden boning in there! about 8 pieces per pyramid!

in all, this really has not been too difficult to make. i used the clown hat from simplicity 4863

which belonged to tyler's grandmother, she had 2 in different sizes for each of her girls!

and because i didn't want my ass hanging out, i used simplicity 5525 to cut out the back pieces. 

i had to use my imagination to add stretch room...

all the rest was just cutting and guessing. like i said before- wingin' it is totally my thing! 

now since i still have a little bit more to add, tomorrow i will post of a photo of me wearing this. i think im gonna have to set my hair in curlers (even though my hair is already curly-- i DEMAND ringlets!) and maybe draw on a big dramatic mole (even though i am already all freckle-y....) 

...you know, all i have to do is show up in any underwear. i don't have to do this and really it couldn't be less necessary, but where is the fun in that?

sewing room is GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

pretty much all done in the sewing room, and im just gonna say- hot DAMN is it fantastic!
BEHOLD! the wonders of the craft space:

  

i. have room. for. EVERYTHING!

 

all of my machines have a place...

i am so excited, i think i even peed a little....

 

space for my buttons, 

all of my patterns,

  

 and my vintage herbert levines- which come on, deserve their own space!

and i even have space for BOTH of my dress forms which means i can finally finish these three pieces i've been working on-

i've used the shirt and skirt patterns before, and the pink dress is self drafted but has a pretty vintage collar on it that i got for free by smooth talkin' an old man at the flea market

the dress is un-attaching from the collar, thats the part that needs more work

i also found these vintage birds i got from my favorite vintage shop. they look like they are cut off of something, so it might be tricky to use without the old fabric showing.

 

 they are sequins and beads and are much better looking up close

 and, best of all, little stinky splinter finally got to come over and move back in with me! he got his own special bed in the sewing room today, which will SOON be replace by a expensive one i made :)

 look at them crooked arms and tongue! i just love him to bits!

so hopefully this means lots of new projects coming up soon. i still have a couple of boxes to unpack still which i know are full of more vintage treats :)

ain't no post like a over due post!

also, ain't no blogger like an unemployed blogger- and as of today i am once again unemployed!
(this time by choice. no lay-off for this hard ass! and also i don't usually work weekends so i'm counting today as day 1)
on friday i bid adieu to my job that i actually am not entirely sure i ever even mentioned here... so i'll do that now. i *was* working as the seamstress for a chain of dry cleaners here in san antonio. we did about 50/50 military and civilian. it was pretty much an awesome job and i feel like my sewing skills are possibly the most awesome ever. i mean, come on- the sign out front said "PROFESSIONAL TAILORING" and you know what? they meant me! ME! and i was god-damn-fantastic!
things just didn't work out for me [financially] so i told them 'toodles, bitches!' and got my self a new sewing job that could be even better because definitely in my list of favorite things, in the top 5 are sewing and puppy dogs, and i am going to be making super froo-froo dog beds for a living now! hollaaaaaaa!
i am going to be working with this really amazing woman who is a great combination of pretty, smart, dog lovin', and wicked stylish!
my last boss looked like the big booger in the mucinex commercials and was always looking at my boobies, so i look forward to the change.

i guess he wasn't green, but this is fairly accurate...
and to be honest he is a really really nice guy

the only prob-rem is that i won't *exactly* be working there full time for a while, so until then i am just gonna wing it. wingin' it is *kinda* my thing.
now i guess what i was trying to get to with this, is that since i will be having a bit more free time on my hands, hopefully i can get back to sewing more and even occasionally making posts! i even got my sewing room mostly put together! today i plan on finishing it up, but i am building up from a yucky space-

  

took a little cleaning after this, but here is my blank canvas...

 so far i have it painted on all but 1 wall where tyler has like, 3 big book cases FULL of books and what-not, added shelves and a desk and just finished putting together my favorite chairs of all time. probably i'll go finish this right now and post up my finished project :)

cold weather and wieners, but not cold wieners.

good ol' texas! if there is one thing you can count on, its that the weather here is wonky as hell. last week we went from shorts and tank tops, to snow in like, 2 days. thanks right-- i said

SSSSNNNNNOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!  

here's ol' dexter, wondering where his ground went

im sure some of you are out there stuck in 20' of snow and havent seen the actual ground outside for months and probably want to stab me in the eye for being so excited while youve been stuck in a blizzard, but this is the first time i have EVER had a snow day... so suck it. 

snow in my back yard? whaaaaa?

i know it isnt that impressive, and honestly its not like i even got to enjoy it that long. it was:
a) not that much
b) melted mostly that day
and c) the weather changes every 15 minutes here!

for example, it was like, 30 degrees when i left for work this morning, and this evening i had the air conditioner on when i drove home! the only time you can ever predict the weather for sure is that from march-november, prepare to sweat you balls (or lady balls as the case may be) off.

so later that weekend my sister kathy and i went to our soon-to-be sister in law's bachelorette party.

lets see.... bride to be is the girl in red with the wang necklace, kathy is in the blue tights next to her and i am second to the right in some killer shoes i got and havent stopped wearing yet!

we learned a few fun facts about dildos (they had one of the sexy toy sales women there), male strippers (funnier than i expected) and tequila rose shots (they sneek up, bastards,) but more importantly, we learned that we aren't mature enough for any of those events to come up. this became apparent at this moment:

shes a magical unicorn!

aaaaand thats the bride to be putting it on her. my family RULES.

so completely different topic, i have fallen in love with a picture of a dress, so as soon as my sewing room is unpacked (cross you fingers next week!!!!) i will be making this:

so prepare for greatness.

i'm not gonna try to make and excuse for not posting in 5,000 years-

because tyler and i have been moving into/rebuilding our new house and that bitch has been a pain in the ol' tookus! and that means, *ahem,* i am excused.
check this beezee out-

this is what my bathroom looks like RIGHT NOW. 

im not totally happy with this, but i am ok with it because believe it or not, that is an improvement. there were some *slight* mold issues with that bathroom, as well as a few issues with rodents.RODENTS!  (yeah. you can go ahead and throw up in your mouth a little bit now.)

by the way, it currently sucks to be those furry little bastards. i destroyed their nest and set traps everywhere! they ate holes in my pretty area rug. i will show no [maybe minimal] mercy. they are being lured to their death by the sweet smell of nutella and dog food. buwahahahahahahahahaha!


there are a LOT of things wrong with the house... like we have had to do work on the outside, completely redo the bathroom and kitchen, paint every single room (which we are still working on), paint the outside and garage (which we still haven't done) and plant grass- so something will be there besides dirt- in the yard.

BUT there also are a lot of great things about the house... like the cost, the huge back yard, the big fig tree, hard wood floors, a big cast iron bathtub, a separate room for sewing, a garage, the paint colors we picked for everything, and the absolute best part- i get to fall asleep and wake up next to this every single day:

i mean tyler, not the puppy dog...

uh, and also check out my awkwardly shaped boob there... 'the fuck is goin on?

so, we are mostly settled in now. saturday was 'destroy the bathroom day' and today was supposed to be 'oh shit, put that back together day' but it looks like that one will be carrying into the week with next saturday planed to be 'set tile in the tub surround day'
should be interesting.... but hopefully i can be a little more loyal to the ol' blogger site and put up some more photos of the chez awesome as it comes together! we will see.....

oh yeah-

and how the HELL are these two releated???

this is father and daughter

while im eating my left over curry....

i s'pose i'll do my incredibly overdue post/update/recent projects...


(but just so you know, it is a DELICIOUS curry!)

ok, so what have i been up to since summer.... still trying to live without a *real* job, still surrounded by puppy dogs, still have the best boyfriend ever, still working on the hoarder house... BUT tyler and i are getting ready to move into a house in a couple months!!! i am sooo excited! the yard is HUGE and has a pecan tree and a beast of a fig tree in the back! the house was built in the 1940's- its right up my alley! i recently accumulated a lot of incredible mid-century furniture including a beautiful ceader chest and a black 1950's dining room table! the house WILL be a time machine, dammit!

aside from that... i don't want to get into every little thing that has gone on that i SHOULD have been posting up here... so i'm just going to post things as i remember... but basically just pick up like i hadn't quit writing...

hey! look at this book!

and go 'oooooooooooooohhhh!'

tyler's dad's girlfriend showed me this incredible book that belonged to her mother- it's her work book from the 1930's from her sewing school in (i think i remember this right) new york!
the pages we full of different stitches and detailing, mostly all hand done, but a few were by machine. each one was on a pretty pink silk swatch, and then labeled:

 

perfect. 

 

 perfect. 

 perfect. 

 

also perfect- look at the shadows!

i loved this. i wish i had gotten better photos, but this was post-funeral and we had done a little bit of grievin ' drinkin' so... you know how that goes. joann (jerry's girlfriend) said that her mother was a master seamstress! she is in her nineties now, and apparently is also a badass. i like her already!

super burfday grape time!

this past sunday my great aunt rose put together a big birthday party out on our creek to celebrate half of our family having summer birthdays... good news- ITS GRAPE SEASON!

omnomnomnomnomnom

only too bad because they are mustang grapes and they aren't really good for anything except imagining what eating an eyeball is like.

you cant even eat the skin. it will fucking burn your mouth. wtf?

any who, team girl cousin went out on the hunt for some grapes to eat. after swinging a shovel at a bunch up high, we saw these grapes within reach. after wards, we saw some even closer.

here is super-fox katie picking some treats

and we pretty much felt like goobs. then we played washers and tyler strutted around all handsome-like in his halo of super brownie points he earned this weekend helping my mother and i at a yard sale.

its not a party without parrot ice!

kathy, like always, made her over-the-top birthday cake with very meticulously cut little green leaves and tiny little bows and flowers and i think she spent too much time on this...

but it was sooooooooooo good!

also in good-ness, my other brother got engaged! well, he finally got engaged... after dating for years and years and years- 8 i think... he popped the question with a BEAUTIFUL ring! here they are reenacting the proposal.

the real one had less dogs and less overacting... i think.

so it was a pretty exciting weekend. also i got a new dress form... for FREE! hot damn! this homegirl is named Lenore. shes got some curves! its nice having a plus sized form, so etsy store, prepare to be plus sized!